In our culture today, sexual promiscuity is encouraged and marketed to the young and old alike. Sexually explicit images and themes can be seen any and everywhere from music videos, to TV and movies.
This bombardment of imagery can prove to be harmful to us as adults but even more for our children, including young men.
I think about my grandson who just entered his teenage years and how this blatant attack on his manhood is affecting him every day.
One of the very first scriptures I had him memorize was Psalm 119:9 – How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.
wanted him to understand that if he chooses to follow God’s commands it will keep him from making unwise decisions, especially as it relates to sexual immorality. I hope that presenting him with the truth will give him a foundation and strength to stand against the evils of this culture.
You see, back in my day, a guy who dated and/or was sexually intimate with multiple women at the same time was called a Player. In fact, the image of a “playboy” was the foundation on which Hugh Hefner built his whole empire.
Still today, the life of a “playboy” is glorified and sought-after. Among some men, it is almost like a badge of honor to be able to talk about how many women they have conquered.
But herein lies the deception, while the “playboy” always sees himself in the position of the conqueror, the truth of the matter is he is the one being conquered.
The book of Proverbs tells us the truth about the life of a Player:
1. He gives his strength away to women
Proverbs 31:3 – Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which ruins kings
In this Proverb, the mother of King Lemuel is instructing him on the behavior of a king. The first thing she tells him is not to give his strength to women.
Men are to be God’s imagers in the earth, the example of a good Husband and Father. Every time a man becomes intimate with a woman that is not his wife he loses his strength, which is his fortitude, focus, and his will to fight.
He can’t commit to honoring God with his life because his life becomes consumed with lust which makes him weak and subject to the whims of a woman. The deception is he believes he is the one in control, all the while he is being drained of his strength and life itself. Tragically, he is rendered useless for the kingdom of God.
2. His time and energy are wasted away
Lest you give your vigor to others and your years to a cruel person, lest strangers devour your strength, and your labor benefit another man’s house. And at the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are wasted away.
As you can see, the playboy loses his honor and strength. And in the end, will be consumed with sorrow when he realizes that his entire life has been wasted on pursuing fleshly desires that profited him nothing.
Sexually transmitted diseases, and babies outside of marriage, are just a few of the consequences that the world seems to overlook when promoting this lifestyle.
He is dishonored and disrespected and not able to be trusted with the responsibility of being the man God has created him to be.
3. He is reduced to nothing
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
At the end of the day, a man is no match for a whorish woman. She hunts him like prey to destroy his life.
An emaciated man will always bow to the wiles of a whorish woman, when he is consumed with lust he is weak-willed, and easily led astray, and she will reduce him to nothing.
4. He will lose the kingdom
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not deceived: Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor the effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.
Unfortunately, most men don’t realize that if they continue in a lifestyle of sexual immorality, they will eventually forfeit the kingdom of God. The temporary satisfaction of fulfilling their lust will cost them eternal damnation if they don’t repent.
As you can see here the bible paints a very different picture of the life of a “playboy” than what is presented in the world. These are the lessons we must share with our young men so that they understand the truth behind this foolish way of thinking.
By all accounts, this type of lifestyle will bring a man to nothing, which was the plan of Satan all along. Much like in the Garden of Eden, Satan’s goal is to keep the woman lording over the man so that the man is emasculated and without fortitude.
Therefore Satan tries to seduce our young men, by getting them addicted to pornography or involved in sexual sin at an early age. His goal is to get them so consumed with lust that they never understand who they are as men of God and their role as a father, protector, and provider of a family.
If Satan can get our young men hooked on perversion early enough he can destroy a whole generation of men. They will be useless in God’s kingdom and therefore no threat to Satan’s kingdom.
Thankfully, the bible also gives an example of a Godly man who did not bow to the wiles of an adulteress woman or his flesh. In Genesis 39:7-18 we see a young man by the name of Joseph, who is being pursued by his Master’s wife. She tries on multiple occasions to get him to lay with her but he repeatedly denies her advances. One day, she grabs him by his clothing to force him to lay with her but he leaves his garment in her hand and runs out of the house.
Joseph is an example of a man yielded totally to God, who is self-controlled and not consumed with passion. Although he was jailed for a crime he didn’t commit, he maintained his integrity, his honor, and his manhood. In doing so God continued to show him favor in every area of his life.
Encouraging our young men to be pure is counter-culture, but God’s word is counter-culture. This is why he instructs us to walk the narrow path of righteousness, albeit it is the path less traveled (Matthew 7:13-14).
We cannot allow ourselves to bend to the “boys will be boys” mentality, for it is this ungodly worldview that is destroying our young men.
We are to encourage our young men to walk in purity, stress the importance of marriage, and how sexual intimacy was created to be expressed in marriage. We must teach them the word of God so that they understand they were created in the image of a holy God, which means they too must be holy (1 Peter 1:16).
These things may seem foreign or even old-fashioned in this increasingly wicked world, but that doesn’t matter, this is the truth of God’s word.
The lesson of purity is just as important for our young men as it is for our young ladies. It is our responsibility as parents, grandparents, and guardians to point our young men into the way of truth. (Proverbs 22:6).
These are the lessons for our sons (and my beloved grandson).